First, I want to tell those who have clicked this link and are currently dealing with depression, I’m happy you’re here and I hope I can help you somehow. Second, as a former RA I know this subject can get heavy so at any time you feel anxious you should take a break and come back if you feel up to it.
Now I’m sure many of you have seen the video of Ronda Rousey’s championship loss to Holly Holm, but that’s not the video I want to share. The video I want all of you to watch is her recent appearance on Ellen where she openly talks about the loss and her thoughts of suicide afterward. If you haven’t yet, here it is, watch it and then keep reading:
Wow. I watched this video and I was speechless, especially when you know the story of Rousey: living in her car before her big break, keeping her nose to the grind stone, and rising to be one of the most dangerous forces in the MMA octagon. Then her devastating loss occurred and her world flipped upside down, and I’m sure many of us can relate to her.
I myself was bullied for the way I looked growing up until seventh grade when puberty finally kicked in, but then my family moved to Wisconsin uprooting me from the life I knew. After less than a year in Wisconsin and things seemed to be going my way, my parents got a divorce, once again ripping my world apart. Every time things began to look better something always came along to knock me back to square one and into depression, and this continues to this day. But I’m still here!
My point is although Rousey’s life-flip was on a larger scale everybody who has, and is dealing with, depression has experienced this life-flipping in some way, shape, or form. But you know what? You’re still here, just as she is and just as I am and that is something to smile about because you keep fighting. However, the sad fact is some aren’t still here with us because they fell victim to this monster, whether it was a loved one or a role model.
But I don’t want that to happen to you and I keep saying you’re still here because that’s half the battle! You’ve experienced these bad things in life, felt the depression knocking, but said no to it and slammed the door on it. To me it has always helped to remember the quote, “Not everyday may be good, but there is something good in everyday,” and that is my first tip to keep kicking depression’s butt:
Find Something Good In Each Day
This could be running into an old friend, watching a funny cat video, or getting candy from a friend. That last part may seem trivial but it means a lot because 1) it serves as a symbol that a friend was thinking about you and 2) they figured the candy bar would put a smile on your face. For me it helps to do this at the end of the day as you’re laying in bed because the last thoughts you should have before saying goodbye to a day should be positive to lay a foundation for a new and better day tomorrow.
This is something people should do daily regardless because it helps bring a positive perspective to each day. I like to watch this video to remind me to be positive, it may not be to this level but it helps me feel better:
Doesn’t he just make you feel like anything is possible? That’s because anything is possible and I believe in you. But this may still not be enough and at this point you should say something:
Talk To Somebody, Anybody
You need to hear this: you will never EVER be a burden to the people who love you. One thing I can’t stress enough is how there is no shame in acknowledging you have depression and need someone to talk to. Your family loves you unconditionally and they have seen you at your most vulnerable from birth. They want to help you in any way possible so if you are experiencing feelings of depression or suicidal thoughts, you should talk to them as soon as possible.
If they aren’t an option at that moment in time, your friends care about your health and well-being just as much as your family does, this could even be your RA. You may not think they are only there to keep you in-line when the dorm gets rowdy but they want to see you be happy and successful in life just as much as anyone else. If it’s four in the morning and you need someone, wake your RA up and they will help you through.
What will that talk consist of? It will all be on your time and you can say what you want when you want to. They want to help you and they will listen with an open mind and heart and gauge where you are at. Some situations may be resolved then but it never hurts to seek additional help from medical professionals:
Talk To Professionals
At the University of Wisconsin, as I’m sure there are at other universities, we have counseling and consultation services you can call at any time and talk to them. There are also numerous other safe places around campus where you can talk confidentially with counselors and get the help you deserve.
I encourage you to explore your university’s health services. They are free to many students which means counseling will be there for you whenever you are ready to talk.
The most important advice I can give you is for you to recognize when you’re experiencing these thoughts and should talk to someone. This is why I love Ronda Rousey for being so open and encouraging; she is a strong woman who, although her world was flipped on her, managed to recognize the problem, push through to find the positive, and keep fighting.
We all have those moments and if one of the strongest women, both mentally and physically in my opinion, can admit she had these thoughts and needed help then so can you. You are stronger than you think you are, just keep fighting, find that positive in each day and talk to somebody. Hey, if those people aren’t available, talk to me because I know where you are and I don’t want the world to lose anymore bright and beautiful people. (A moment of silence for the loved ones we have lost to this monster, please)
Let’s take the stigma out of this word depression and start encouraging those who need help and support them through their journey. I believe in you!
What do you think about Rousey and her appearance on Ellen? Let me know below.